I was expressing some neurotic, irrational concerns to my husband and he responds, "Pregnancy should be considered a mental illness".

While looking at a very unflattering picture of me, my husband says to me, "Remeber that even when you had that body, you had a husband who was obsessed with you, and children who adore you".

Mike: You bought a gallon of paint?

Me: My motto is, "why finish an old project when you can start a new one!" 

Me: what do you think of this hair color? (Showing him a pic from Pinterest)

Mike: I don't know. 

Me: What do you think of it?

Mike: It's striped? (highlights)

Me: But do you like it?

Mike: What answer do I have to give for this conversation to be over?

The 8 year old just came out of his room and told us we were being too loud. 

Am I to assume by the look of the bathroom sink that you shaved your goatee this morning?

Mike kissed me awake this morning. I startled awake a scratched his kiss off (his whiskers tickle). He steps back and says, "Well you're no Disney princess".